The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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