you guys were way drunker than both of me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
