Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
