Your tits are I can't wait for
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
