she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
