i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
