I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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