She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize