guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
