i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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