He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Boobs are out for the taking
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
