i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
did i just pee glitter
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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