Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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