i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
