idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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