Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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