mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
