we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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