If i come over, it means nothing
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
