OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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