i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
