I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Randomize
