Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
