??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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