Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
