I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I intend to get homeless drunk
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
