i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
