The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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