trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
