Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize