By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
