Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
