i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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