is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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