Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
