i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
