I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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