And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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