Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize