nut hugger
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
