Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
