I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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