I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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