Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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