life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
