There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
