Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
