New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He felt like a one man threesome
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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