Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
