im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
