The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
