oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize