NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
