dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
porn star boner night. come get it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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