from now on my penis is your penis
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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