This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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