Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
