i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
