You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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