You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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