But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
