i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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