he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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