How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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