yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
