my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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