I CAN MOONWALK!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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