I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
