Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Damn victory sex feels great
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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