Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
