NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Im part way to drunk.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
