I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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