Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
