Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
